To no small degree, I have always felt like an outsider in every situation I’ve been in my life. On the outside looking in and never quite fitting in. For the longest time, I didn’t understand this feeling and literally thought something was wrong with me. No one ever took me aside when they saw my difficulty and explained to me what was going on. I had to investigate and learn what I now for myself. I, George Louis Hiegel, am an introvert. There I said it, I am an introvert.
Introversion, even now in what we call the 21st century, is a misunderstood human characteristic. It is often labeled as shyness. But this is wrong. I am not shy. A shy person wants to socialize, but has extreme difficulty doing so. As an introvert, I don’t have difficulty socializing, I just prefer not to. As an introvert, I am not a party person. In our culture of brash, outward self-attention seeking behavior being anti-party clearly rubs against the grain.
As an introvert, I can be seen as anti-social and anti-people, while I am neither one of those things. Extroverts, to me, often seem to have a need for almost constant outward stimulation. I rarely have such a need. It, to me, runs only across a thin superficial plain. I have more a need for deeper, more inward stimulation. Writing, reading, meditating, long walks, exercising are all daily pursuits of mine.
If I am to engage in conversation, I prefer it to be one on one or a small group. This allows for an actual connection between me and whom I am talking to. Parties are the antithesis of this. Parties, to me, are like a hundred voices all chattering away in your head at the same time and they all get garbled together into a unified loud mass of incoherent nothing.
Entire books have been written about the subject of introversion and I certainly could go on longer here in this blog post about it. But I am choosing to end it here. I wrote this after waking up at 5 am and not being able to go back to sleep. I have always been a writer who creates when inspired. I don’t plan or schedule it. It just happens. And this how this blog post came to be. It just happened. I have to go now. I am being seduced by the call of early morning coffee whispering in the my ear. It is a call I just can’t resist